Talk:Flirting

previous content removed without explanation

The definition of 'flirting' here seems a bit sparse, but I am no expert. I have nothing constructive to add to this definition, but would like to see some discussion of what many consider to be a very important topic. First, is flirting normal social interaction? What restrictions does society place on flirting? Can a man flirt with a woman at work without being charged with sexual harassment? For those of us who are married, is it acceptable to flirt with those to whom we aren't married? Please, these questions are the only ones which I know to ask. I present them as a suggestion only and welcome any discussion on the matter.

I don't know who posted the above but those are reasonable questions. The answers have varied across times and cultures, indeed social classes, regional subcultures, religious denominations, and social settings [home, workplace, school, etc.] and by age of participants; and can change quite quickly. You could find every variation just within the 21st century US. Except maybe those in which the slightest flirtatious glance could get one killed fast and hard. ALthough even that could probably be found in the US. Some real experts could add a lot on these. Random noter (talk) 17:43, 19 October 2018 (UTC)

Suggested subheading

I suggest someone add a section on flirting's morality. It's a topic I'm very curious about.--HistoricalPisces 17:43, 3 August 2005 (UTC)

Morality should be removed from the other sections too, different cultures have different rules. And while it should be discussed, it shouldn't be part of the main definition. -anon 16:02, 10 August 2006 (UTC)

Etymology

In modern french the verb "flirter" is similar to "to flirt" and un(e) flirt means something like boyfriend (girlfriend), but I am hesitant to add this content to the page because (in a language where one word can mean kiss or shag depending on context) it is very easy to completely change the meaning of something as difficult to describe as flirting. Can a native speaker give us a hint as to the current usage?

Also, did the current french word migrate back from the english word, or what?

Yes, French flirt(er) almost certainly comes from English. Whether English flirt comes from fleurette is in doubt; and, by the way, neither of my French dictionaries suggests that conter fleurette is obsolete, on the contrary one calls it a "locution moderne". —Tamfang 21:43, 26 June 2006 (UTC)

German, anyone?

There's a really interesting paragraph in the German-language entry on flirting. It's about a Margaret Mead study on differences among American airmen and English girls in WWII. I sure would like to see her original, and explain it here, but i cannot find it. The closest ive gotten so far is excerpts from a speech called "The Yank in Britain" where the British misunderstood the American idea of recreational dating.

I just put up some material on the subject. Squidfryerchef 04:12, 3 August 2007 (UTC)

Her book is called The American troops and the British community an examination of the relationship between the American troops and the British by Margaret Mead. Considering Mead's prominence it is curious that her wiki page does not properly reference her WW2 work. kenif — Preceding unsigned comment added by Kenif (talk • contribs) 00:36, 25 June 2017 (UTC)

Flirting

I would like to suggest that the definition of flirting needs to be amended to reflect it's childish origin which is simply: child's play. Romantic attachment and sexual attraction should never be confused with flirting. Flirting is adults at play; joined by sexual innuendo mixed with meaninglessness. Notice that adults does not specify women or men; it specifies adults which are both women and men. An adult is the only distiction necessary. Flirting done properly, is perfectly harmless and should be practiced by all. Is such a definition embraced by others? More than likely. Would such a definition gain universal appeal? Certainly not many of my generation. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Lula Belle (talk • contribs) 22:18, 5 April 2006

Well, if you can source that viewpoint, go ahead and put it in. -Maverick 06:56, 15 June 2006 (UTC)

"Flirt fighting"?

What exactly is the article describing when it refers to "flirt fighting"? Little boys' dipping girls' pigtails in the ink wells, or what? :\ Runa27 07:12, 31 August 2006 (UTC)

flirting by fighting perhaps! lol actually... not such a crazy idea, play fighting is a form of flirting. Mathmo 15:23, 18 November 2006 (UTC)

Yeah, that's definitely true; you have a lot of different ways to "flirt fight"- 'poke war', playful smacking, teasing (technically), etc. Stars in the Night Sky 18:59, 11 May 2007 (UTC)

Flirt vs. Flirting

Should Flirt really redirect here? There IS a difference between flirt and flirting, as in Flirt the noun. 58.162.103.251 13:57, 28 September 2006 (UTC)

Until someone writes Flirt (noun), and clarifies the distinction, I reckon the redirect is appropriate. What do you reckon the noun means, other than one who flirts? —Tamfang 19:12, 8 April 2007 (UTC)

Format/Grammar/Citation

Lastly, the third degree of flirting is intentional, and not at all subtle. The person is going out of his or her way to look "cool", actively trying to impress someone. This almost never works but is repeatedly used by many young teenagers anyway, because it is "cool".

There are a few fundamental problems with this paragraph. First of all, "Lastly, the third..." doesn't sound gramatically correct to me. The word 'lastly' is superflous.

Futhermore, I think "cool" needs to be more clearly defined. The word sounds a bit slack. Any suggstions?

Also, what are the sources for this article? Is it fair to say that it "almost never works" ?

what flirting is to me

To me, flirting is touching another person ever so lightly, letting them know how attractive you find them, but leaving no expectations. Flirting does not have to lead to a relationship, but it leaves the door open. Done properly, both sides will feel better for the experience. They will feel attractive and somehow more alive. When I catch someone's eye across a crowded room and smile a little then look away, it only means that I appreciate the person. It is like paying a wordless compliment. When I treat an 11 year old or an 81 year old as though they were a lady my age, it is a gesture of respect. Carlos Castenada speaks of seeing people as luminous beings. That description always struck me. Flirting for me is showing the person that you appreciate that luminous being beneath the skin. That is why a 70 year old man dressed in a suit, with a Panama hat and walking stick, sitting on the piazza in Rome with a glass of Pernod, can flirt with a 30 year old married business woman clutching a cell phone and a briefcase, and neither need feel embarrassed or out of place. Licentious 15:00, 22 March 2007 (UTC)Licentious

Ok. 76.178.228.63 (talk) 18:00, 15 August 2010 (UTC)

Simple or Complex

I believe that flirting is simply any complimenting or edifying comment or action directed at another in order to gain favor or rapor. I don't think that everyone's motive for flirting is the same. One who is married might "flirt" with another in order to gain more opportunities in the work place, or to get a discount when making a purchase, etc... 132.178.204.98 07:10, 13 September 2007 (UTC)TregSr

Picture

I've added the picture Image:StrawAndBreasts.jpg to the top of the article. An editor removed this a while ago because it was "silly": I would suggest that it was illustrating the subject of the article. Pictures enhance the quality of an articl, if only by making the text seem more accessible. There is a link at the bottom of the page top a category of pictures on the Commons on the subject. Perhaps, if editors don't like this picture they could find a replacement rather than just deleting. An explanation on the discussion page would help in coming to a concensus. --Simon Speed 12:07, 14 September 2007 (UTC)

As an illustration of the article I agree with the editor who removed it. It's a poor illustration for the article with connotations of licentiousness and crudeness that are not an implicit part of the subject and which are barely touched upon in the article (and shouldn't be). It would make a better illustration for ab article on drunken behaviour than one on flirting. -- SiobhanHansa 15:09, 14 September 2007 (UTC)

Then replace it with something better. --Simon Speed 15:34, 14 September 2007 (UTC)

While a good illustration would be great I haven't seen one. However I do not think this illustration is better than no illustration. It gives an incorrect impression of the content of the article. -- SiobhanHansa 15:56, 14 September 2007 (UTC)

Hear, hear. —Tamfang 07:51, 15 September 2007 (UTC)

Because it isn't a picture of "flirting" as most people understand it. Flirting is supposed to be about unattached people batting eyelashes at each other, not a raunchily humorous photo of a couple. Squidfryerchef 22:29, 15 September 2007 (UTC)

OK, so how about this picture Image:Das werdenSie ja nachher schon sehen.jpg? They don't seem to be a couple yet... will they go further or will she laugh and brush him off? --Simon Speed 11:17, 16 September 2007 (UTC)

I guess I'm neutral on this one. It doesn't have the same inappropriate connotations the other one had. But personally I wouldn't have associated it with flirting without reading the caption, and I think the dated look and mores it portrays will make it harder for people to gain much from it. This is a hard article to illustrate; so much of flirting is dependent on context and culture that is difficult to find something that clearly shows a flirtatious act. -- SiobhanHansa 18:13, 16 September 2007 (UTC)

I am also neutral on the newer picture. Squidfryerchef 03:48, 17 September 2007 (UTC)

Translate the caption? —Tamfang 21:42, 22 September 2007 (UTC)

I fixed the translation and would like to add it underneath the picture, but do not know how. The text: "Would you take offense if I had the gall to plant a kiss on this beautiful shoulder?" "You'll figure that out soon enough after the deed." —Preceding unsigned comment added by 99.244.73.200 (talk) 19:31, 15 November 2007 (UTC)

Thanks for the translation. I've added it as a caption. -- SiobhanHansa 00:04, 16 November 2007 (UTC)

Unencyclopedic language

"The most famous flirt of them all, talking in an obnoxious english accent :-) JK"

Umm. How did that get in there? --124.170.228.169 04:29, 28 September 2007 (UTC)

Thanks for spotting it. I've removed it. Next time you spot something like that you are welcome to fixs it yourself if you want to. -- SiobhanHansa 14:07, 28 September 2007 (UTC)

Your hair looks nice, and you've lost weight! Fancy dinner? Jas (talk) 21:44, 6 February 2008 (UTC)

friendz

wat if ur friendz w/ a guy and he stares alot at u and plays around wat kind of flirting iz tha the harmless or the i like u flirting? —Preceding unsigned comment added by 68.127.112.184 (talk) 04:51, 10 March 2008 (UTC)

Vandalism

I removed the vandalism that somebody put up.74.183.138.133 (talk) 14:28, 18 May 2008 (UTC)

Thank you. - Eldereft ~(s)talk~ 06:47, 19 May 2008 (UTC)

Crimen sollicitationis

Do we have any reliable sources describing this as a form of flirting rather than an abuse of power? - Eldereft (cont.) 11:07, 27 July 2008 (UTC)

It isn't; the text is repeatedly added by sockpuppets of a banned user (DavidYork71). Please revert and notify any administrator to have him blocked. Thanks. --Ckatz^chat_spy 07:07, 29 July 2008 (UTC)

Playing footsies

Just discovered that there's an article on this subject, and a fairly old one at that. It's currently a stub, and has been a stub for a very long time. I don't think the subject by itself really warrants a full article, and is probably best if it's included into another article. I think this one seems to fit best, but could also see merging into foot fetish or something else, depending on consensus. WTF? (talk) 20:49, 29 July 2010 (UTC)

There doesn't seem to be any serious opposition to this, so I am going to be bold and do it. WTF? (talk) 19:54, 3 August 2010 (UTC)

Do not merge dirty talk in to this article.

Dirty talk has a merge notice on it , but does not belong merged here as it is more typically something which occurs during sex. Just by way of example, the woman crying out:

Warning: example of actual dirty talk derived from experience
The following discussion has been closed. Please do not modify it.
"Fuck me!! Fuck my wet pussy. Oh god, you feel so good, so hard and deep inside me. Do you like that baby? You like how my hot, wet pussy takes your big hard cock? Oh god, make me cum!! Yes, I'm cumming so hard!!"

is classic dirty talk which would not be considered flirting. DeistCosmos (talk) 22:22, 15 January 2013 (UTC)

Odd section

There is a section which is badly written and a digression and which sounds like someone’s personal opinion and is not quite English syntax. I do not see it as worth rewriting in a more encyclopedic style and suggest it could be removed without much loss: “Actually, the word Fleurette was yet used in the XVI century, like in some sonnet[3], and some other texts.[4] · [5] · [6]The French word fleurette (small flower), and the language of old south France word flouretas (from the Latin flora(for flower)), are related to some little says where flowers are at the same time a pretext and the comparison terms. In southern France, some usage were yet used in 1484,[7] · [8]. ” Edison (talk) 17:54, 7 May 2018 (UTC)

Wider historical references

I removed the following sentence from the end of the Etymology section "Since this part of France and Britain were at this time united the word also entered the English language as 'flirting'." and left a version that merely says the word entered English as flirting without explanation. I lack knowledge to flesh out how it entered English, but do know Britain and the south of France were not united in 1592 or at any recent time. The last English possession, Calais in the far north, had been lost in the 1550s. The south [really the southwest as Aquitaine] had been lost by England before 1453. France and England had plenty of interactions especially at the elite, court, and mercantile levels, so nothing stops word transfer, but not through any period political union. Random noter (talk) 18:07, 19 October 2018 (UTC)

Prolonged stare followed by a head tilt away

According to the final sentence of the lead, we can see a prolonged stare followed by a head tilt away in the accompanying image from a trailer for Monkey Business (not the Marx Brothers film). Maybe all this can be seen in the footage of which this is a still, but gazing at this image I discern neither a stare nor a head tilt away.  --Lambiam 15:08, 13 November 2018 (UTC)

Controversial Picture of Bill Clinton

I couldn't bother to notice the picture of "Bill Clinton flirting with an unnamed woman" is a bit controversial in my opinion. I feel like this picture does not comply with neutrality and hints user political views. – Yanjipy (talk) 15:56, 7 July 2019 (UTC)

I've remove it. --Ronz (talk) 16:22, 7 July 2019 (UTC)

Semi-protected edit request on 23 June 2020

I would like to make a joke for the TikTok user Chuckysdead the leader of the cult step chickens 97.115.172.26 (talk) 23:16, 23 June 2020 (UTC)

 Not done: it's not clear what changes you want to be made. Please mention the specific changes in a "change X to Y" format and provide a reliable source if appropriate. QueerFilmNerd^talk 23:22, 23 June 2020 (UTC)

Flirting

Sex! 50.40.111.54 (talk) 08:48, 4 January 2023 (UTC)

History relevancy

In my reading of the history subsection it appears this section is rather based on an observation made by one person rather than an actual complete history of flirting. This should be researched further and include more detailed information. Wetpuppydog1 (talk) 02:10, 21 March 2023 (UTC)

Essay like format

The bulk of this article reads as though it is paragraphs from a paper strung together. Most of the sections only focus on one source and are similar to what you would see in a research paper rather than a wikipedia article. Wetpuppydog1 (talk) 02:13, 21 March 2023 (UTC)

List of examples

List removed because much of it is unsourced, the few that are rely on one poor source, and many are without context, landing pretty convincingly in WP:OR.

---

In Western society, these may include:

• Blowing a kiss
• Casual touching; such as gently stroking, touching each other's arms, chest and neck
• Conversation (e.g. banter, small talk, pickup lines)
• Coyness, marked by cute, coquettish shyness or modesty, coquet or playful aggrandizement of a partner's importance
• Eye contact, batting eyelashes, or staring
• Eyebrow raising
• Flattery (e.g. regarding beauty, sexual attractiveness)
• Footsie, a form of flirtation in which one uses their feet to play with another's
• Hugging
• Imitating or mirroring another's behavior (e.g. taking a drink when the other person takes a drink, changing posture as the other does, foreshadowing or mimicking someone's reactions to successful attraction, etc.)
• Laughing, giggling, chuckling encouragingly at any hint of intimacy in the other's behavior
• Maintaining close proximity, such as during casual talking
• Nicknames and other terms of endearment to describe a partner's personality, beauty, or sexiness
• Chatting online, texting, and using other one-on-one and direct messaging services, while hinting affection
• Protean signals or indicators of interest, such as touching one's hair, side-ways glance, and pointing one's chest towards partner's chest
• Partner dancing
• Writing love letters and notes, poems, or presenting small gifts
• Singing specially selected love songs as a declaration of love and devotion in presence of one's partner
• Smiling or grinning at a partner and/or holding them close
• Staging of "chance" encounters or romantic rendezvous
• Sexting
• Teasing
• Tickling
• Winking

---

—— Safety Cap (talk) 20:56, 8 May 2023 (UTC) — Safety Cap (talk) 20:56, 8 May 2023 (UTC)

Can we put this list back?

Most of this is common knowledge, and the "poor source" is a doctor who studied this topic. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lindsey_Doe) 2601:18F:300:1C90:0:0:0:AE08 (talk) 15:02, 7 August 2024 (UTC)

References

Wiki Education assignment: Technical and Professional Writing

This article was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment, between 17 January 2024 and 7 May 2024. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Lilycloud13 (article contribs).

— Assignment last updated by Eaturvegeez (talk) 19:19, 10 February 2024 (UTC)

This page is riddled with dubious and unfounded claims

I'm attempting to read this article and I'm utterly shocked by the amount of random claims put into it without source. Dubious here, "according to whom?" here, all over! Shouldn't these things be withheld until adequate research is found? 174.31.78.1 (talk) 18:54, 12 February 2024 (UTC)

Editing Introduction

Hello fellow wikipedians!

When viewing this page, I noticed a few areas that could benefit from revision. As seen in the history of this page, it has been though many drafts and has some room for improvement.

I plan to workshop this page in my sandbox over the next few weeks and then submit my final edits once I finish. My plan for edits includes revision of structure and organization, removal of biased voice, and the maintaining of clarity throughout.

I look forward to hearing your feedback. Lilycloud13 (talk) 18:12, 20 February 2024 (UTC)